Post by Deleted on Oct 18, 2017 4:45:35 GMT -5
Hey guys,
I know there's no thread specifically asking for it, but I like to give show feedback. This let's me show you guys that I'm reading everything, but also let's me actually provide feedback on what I'm watching, as a viewer. I've just made notes as I go, covering every aspect.
Thanks for writing the show, guys. It's greatly appreciated!
RUNNING ANALYSIS.
Opening segment: Alright! I like it. I felt that it was short and sweet, which makes it easier to digest. I enjoyed the fact that, in typical Taryn fashion, she’s wearing something that prevents her from walking the length of the ramp. That’s a nice touch.
Her announcement is a good one, too. The end of the dark matches. That feels like a reward to the guys who were originally scheduled for them. I know my match produced 4 pieces, with CM/Anderson having thrown up 3 at my last count. I reckon we earned it, but the fact that you guys recognise it and turned it in character was really classy.
Something about Taryn Robinson opening the show felt right, not sure why. Possibly because of the connection to the original PRIDE? Or the fact that it’s a reminder she’s still very much a part of the company make-up here, alongside J-Halc? Either way, it works.
Hamrick Vs DRU: Nice fight. I knew going into it that it was going to be close. I since learned that it was very, very close. I love that DRU managed to get Hamrick off his feet but made a spectacle of it (like with the crowd rallying behind him to do it, and it not being easy). That shows the writer has really scouted the two fighters well. Good, sloppy finish that didn’t make either man look bad.
Next segment: I like that brevity is the dish of the day so far. Short and sweet is the way to go, both for flow and reader interest. This was a nice little segment. It helped me get an introduction to Merrick and Jules, and I like the whole playboy, two-girlfriends vibe from Henderson. Enjoyed the line: “Who the hell wrestles on a cruise ship anyway?” For some reason that tickled me. Not sure why this match isn’t happening now? Both showed for it? Perhaps there’s more to this story!
CM Vs Anderson: Another close contest by the looks of the match flow. A big back and forth, lots of technical moves. Just noticed here that sometimes the writer is just naming the moves (as in. the names we as handlers give to special moves) but not describing what they are. That makes it tougher for me to visualise. It’s only happening sometimes though. Good result for Christian Michaels. Good job guys.
Next segment: I feel this segment was the cherry on top of a good back and forth this whole show cycle between Duke and Aalto. A whole “may the best fighter win” piece just caps off the whole exchange between the two.
CM mentioned it on Twitter a few days ago that it’s refreshing to see a respectful back and forth and I happen to agree. It also helps that Sammy Duke is quite likeable. He’s like a walking catalogue of terrible dad jokes and for whatever reason it’s working - with me included.
Not sure if this will be the last we see of these two in terms of their relationship together. Duke looks like he may be crushing hard!
Spider Vs Riot: Squash match, I assume, because Riot never showed? Not that I could see anyway? It was difficult to get invested in this fight before the show because only Spider bothered to roleplay, but I enjoyed the character development that continued from the fight. I’m feeling like there’s a disconnect between the Spider in that fight and the Spider on Twitter. We’re going with the whole ‘moody, sombre, silent Spider’ angle here but Spider on Twitter is sarcastic and full of laughs. That might be because I’ve missed something? Not sure. Either way, the match writer did a good job.
Next segment: Genius. The Keep America Safe campaign needs to be a regular thing. I love how politically charged (and accurate) it is. Apologies if this belongs to a specific character - I’m not aware yet because I’m still trying to navigate my way through all the roleplays. Eliza may be a relevant target? Or is she just a random target? I’m guessing I’ll find out. Love it though.
Merrick Henderson Vs Dea…oh: I like the stipulation for next show. I like the relevance it has to the Henderson character. I just don’t understand why Deacon Thomas isn’t here. I mean, I get the IC story but from an OOC perspective, I’m lost. But then again, maybe I’m not meant to know! I’m just meant to enjoy the show! A table match for Ignition #2 should be awesome.
Next Segment: I wrote this one so I won’t go on about it. Just something quick and simple.
Simmons/Rivers Vs Jackson/Rhodes: I’ve gotta say, I love that you guys chose to end a match in controversy. All too often, e-fed fights don’t have refereeing errors or botches, which isn’t at all realistic. The fact that you’re not afraid to throw one in now and again is refreshing. It makes me, as a handler, feel like my guy could fuck up in a match. There’s no guarantees.
The match itself was well written, too. One thing I’d contest is why it was this fight that ended in controversy? As far as I could tell, Jackson no-showed, so should have taken the legitimate L. Unless Rhodes had the best score of the three? I trust there was a logical reason for the call. I think the old fed head in me is just curious, where some others might not think about it, lol. I should probably not think about it, for that matter!
Next segment: Nice, short monologue. Looks like Josh Anderson is using the L to build his character - that’s nice to see. It’s actually made me feel excited for the next card to see who he’s got (watch, now I’ve said this, it’ll be Hamrick).
Jessica Jones Vs Kendall James: Ooft, grim outcome, that one. I wasn’t expecting to see a stoppage through injury, so another cool surprise. I also like how this fight went shorter than the others, which I’m guessing is in direct correlation to RPs put forth for the fight? If so, the injury stoppage is a clever way to end a fight prematurely. Well done to KJ!
Next segment: Okay, so this is my first dealing with Gavin Grimes. At the top of the show, Taryn name drops him and the crowd go nuts, right? Chanting his name? Having just watched his segment, I - as a viewer - hope Eliza kicks the shit out of him (and I suspect that might be what happens now because this segment has been set up for a poetic comeuppance). He’s so cocky. It’s very much like “Hi, I’m Gavin Grimes, I love me - who do you love?” I’m not sure why fans would cheer that? This isn’t a dig at the handler or anything, by the way! I’m just encountering the character for the first time and my instinct is to boo the ever-loving fuck out of him. If that’s the goal? Great work.
Next segment: Maddie Wilson again, this time with RC Tucker. I liked this. I’m new to PRIDE and (ashamedly) haven’t had the chance to sit down and fully read Re:Awakening, so all these characters are ones I’m only seeing for the first time. This segment did a great job of laying the land for me. I know there’s conflict now. Tucker’s put forth an interesting theory that his team will work better, and now I want to see it. Excellent stuff.
Next segment: Wow… Lol. I have no idea what I just watched. Eliza Valentine came off as unstable, unhinged and absolutely fucking crazy. Interrupted by Grimes, crowd go nuts. I just don’t get it. Maybe it’s a nostalgia thing? Maybe it’s a one time only thing that’s getting the pop? Fair play. I do wanna see this match though, admittedly.
Grimes Vs Valentine: This match was one of my favourites so far, just given the fact that I love me some hardcore action. Loved the commentary team questioning why fire extinguishers are effective, and it being answered by the actual use of it around them. Clever. Again, don’t understand why Valentine was booed when she won. I’d have been in that crowd applauding. I can imagine Grimes’ handler fucking hating me now, haha. It’s nothing personal. I’m just watching it from a viewer’s eye for the first time. It’s lost on me. I’m sure he’s amazing.
Next segment: Ah, sweet! Chelsea Quik is medically cleared to wrestle. This means nothing to me because I’m totally new to this. Imagine someone turning on TNA Impact for the first time and just watching as a newcomer. That’s my reality right now. I look forward to seeing her though, because Coby’s commentary during her fights and storylines ought to be interesting.
Aalto Vs Duke: Safe to say this is the match we’ve been waiting for. Aalto has been billed as the biggest signing to this iteration of PRIDE and the two really did their best to sell the match. It definitely didn’t disappoint. I wasn’t sure which way it was going to go, but nobody could deny either of them a victory. Nice touch at the end with the handshake, arm-raise and crowd applause. Sometimes it was hard to follow, but only because the match kept switching tenses (from past to present). That scrambles my brain, as a reader. I had to read it twice to visualise the match.
Next segment: Abby Watkins getting her airtime for the first time tonight, that’s good. I was worried we might not see her. This is my introduction to DeMarcus Gresham. Lol. He’s quite something. Why is he talking like that? I’m intrigued. I don’t know how to feel about him…. I just know I want to see more. Absolutely hate that purple on black though. My eyes! Please think of my eyes!
Next segment: Jesus fuck! That was shocking. I love a good ‘whodunnit?!’ and that’s looking like what this is. The commentary team seem a little calmer than they probably should, lol. Awesome stuff though.
Next segment: Here comes J-Halc. Loving the cool catch of a tossed microphone. The guy is other side of the pillow cool, ain’t he? Nice looking title belt too! Damn, that’s some announcement for the guys in the main event. Stakes have just been raised. While I’m not shocked or surprised by it, it’s still a cool addition to the show. I didn’t KNOW that was going to happen and didn’t expect it, but now that it’s happened, it makes a lot of sense, basically.
‘Quik’ Impact Table: I like this and I don’t like this. I like it in the sense that it’s a great way to round off the show and just remind people what’s happened and what the implications are/could be. However, I don’t like it in the sense that it’s a place that people can just scroll to and get the instant results, therefore negating the hard work and effort you guys have put into writing the whole show. I’ve read everything though, so I appreciate the round up.
Next segment: Jesus, purple on black! Ban it! Ban it to hell! Julian Savell is new to me, along with everyone else. This was alright, a good heel promo if ever I’ve seen one. The kind where he’s just talking shit without really saying anything. I do like the point he’s making about hurting Tyson Gregory (who was his best friend), and so if he can do that to his best bud, think what he can do to a guy he only likes slightly, in Erron Wilder. I’m more intrigued by the idea of the teams trying to co-exist though, like Tucker and Gresham built.
Main Event: As expected, it was the biggest match in terms of results writing (why wouldn’t it be, it’s the main event!) and I thought it was good. I was pleased with the friction on display throughout and I was pleased with the outcome because RC Tucker came across as the most likeable throughout the show in his segment. I did like the end where all hell starts to break loose, although if I had to be critical, for me it feels like that hype should have been laid on to the two guys going on to compete for the title - not the losers of the match. That’s just me though and overall, it doesn’t detract from the show.
POSITIVES
- Segment lengths were ideal. Short enough that they’re easy to read and digest. Long enough where the character comes across well. Great effort to all who wrote them.
- The matches were well written for the most part. I especially love the unpredictability in some of them; namely the injury stoppage and the botch in the tag team fight. They’re realistic additions that really make the show believable.
- The flow of the show (segment to ringside) was perfect. Not one thing looked out of place and that’s difficult to get right. You guys nailed that.
- Stories were built well. Merrick Henderson Vs Deacon Thomas in a table match next week. The Keep America Safe campaign! Who’s behind that?! Why did they target Eliza? Josh Anderson’s intense monologue about whoever he faces next week. The fallout from the controversial tag team botch. How Jessica Jones is doing following her stoppage. Who the fuck tried to basically kill Anushka Aalto?! The PRIDE title fight! The promise of the TV Title reveal next show! Savell/Gresham beefing. There’s a ton of stuff to carry forward to the next show and that’s ideal.
NEGATIVES
- Sometimes special move names were used but the actual move itself wasn’t described, leaving me lost as to what happened. I like to be able to visualise the fight.
- Some of the show was in past tense, while other parts were written in present tense. I realise it’s easy for that to happen with so many writers contributing, but an easy remedy is to pick a tense and stick to it. We all follow a segment style guide, so tense could be included too.
- That purple colour on black background was horrendous (for me, anyway).
- Erron Wilder feels like he’s meant to be a big deal here, but he wasn’t in a segment. I would have liked to see more from him throughout the show, as I did with his team-mate and opposition.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the show and can’t wait for the next card!
I know there's no thread specifically asking for it, but I like to give show feedback. This let's me show you guys that I'm reading everything, but also let's me actually provide feedback on what I'm watching, as a viewer. I've just made notes as I go, covering every aspect.
Thanks for writing the show, guys. It's greatly appreciated!
RUNNING ANALYSIS.
Opening segment: Alright! I like it. I felt that it was short and sweet, which makes it easier to digest. I enjoyed the fact that, in typical Taryn fashion, she’s wearing something that prevents her from walking the length of the ramp. That’s a nice touch.
Her announcement is a good one, too. The end of the dark matches. That feels like a reward to the guys who were originally scheduled for them. I know my match produced 4 pieces, with CM/Anderson having thrown up 3 at my last count. I reckon we earned it, but the fact that you guys recognise it and turned it in character was really classy.
Something about Taryn Robinson opening the show felt right, not sure why. Possibly because of the connection to the original PRIDE? Or the fact that it’s a reminder she’s still very much a part of the company make-up here, alongside J-Halc? Either way, it works.
Hamrick Vs DRU: Nice fight. I knew going into it that it was going to be close. I since learned that it was very, very close. I love that DRU managed to get Hamrick off his feet but made a spectacle of it (like with the crowd rallying behind him to do it, and it not being easy). That shows the writer has really scouted the two fighters well. Good, sloppy finish that didn’t make either man look bad.
Next segment: I like that brevity is the dish of the day so far. Short and sweet is the way to go, both for flow and reader interest. This was a nice little segment. It helped me get an introduction to Merrick and Jules, and I like the whole playboy, two-girlfriends vibe from Henderson. Enjoyed the line: “Who the hell wrestles on a cruise ship anyway?” For some reason that tickled me. Not sure why this match isn’t happening now? Both showed for it? Perhaps there’s more to this story!
CM Vs Anderson: Another close contest by the looks of the match flow. A big back and forth, lots of technical moves. Just noticed here that sometimes the writer is just naming the moves (as in. the names we as handlers give to special moves) but not describing what they are. That makes it tougher for me to visualise. It’s only happening sometimes though. Good result for Christian Michaels. Good job guys.
Next segment: I feel this segment was the cherry on top of a good back and forth this whole show cycle between Duke and Aalto. A whole “may the best fighter win” piece just caps off the whole exchange between the two.
CM mentioned it on Twitter a few days ago that it’s refreshing to see a respectful back and forth and I happen to agree. It also helps that Sammy Duke is quite likeable. He’s like a walking catalogue of terrible dad jokes and for whatever reason it’s working - with me included.
Not sure if this will be the last we see of these two in terms of their relationship together. Duke looks like he may be crushing hard!
Spider Vs Riot: Squash match, I assume, because Riot never showed? Not that I could see anyway? It was difficult to get invested in this fight before the show because only Spider bothered to roleplay, but I enjoyed the character development that continued from the fight. I’m feeling like there’s a disconnect between the Spider in that fight and the Spider on Twitter. We’re going with the whole ‘moody, sombre, silent Spider’ angle here but Spider on Twitter is sarcastic and full of laughs. That might be because I’ve missed something? Not sure. Either way, the match writer did a good job.
Next segment: Genius. The Keep America Safe campaign needs to be a regular thing. I love how politically charged (and accurate) it is. Apologies if this belongs to a specific character - I’m not aware yet because I’m still trying to navigate my way through all the roleplays. Eliza may be a relevant target? Or is she just a random target? I’m guessing I’ll find out. Love it though.
Merrick Henderson Vs Dea…oh: I like the stipulation for next show. I like the relevance it has to the Henderson character. I just don’t understand why Deacon Thomas isn’t here. I mean, I get the IC story but from an OOC perspective, I’m lost. But then again, maybe I’m not meant to know! I’m just meant to enjoy the show! A table match for Ignition #2 should be awesome.
Next Segment: I wrote this one so I won’t go on about it. Just something quick and simple.
Simmons/Rivers Vs Jackson/Rhodes: I’ve gotta say, I love that you guys chose to end a match in controversy. All too often, e-fed fights don’t have refereeing errors or botches, which isn’t at all realistic. The fact that you’re not afraid to throw one in now and again is refreshing. It makes me, as a handler, feel like my guy could fuck up in a match. There’s no guarantees.
The match itself was well written, too. One thing I’d contest is why it was this fight that ended in controversy? As far as I could tell, Jackson no-showed, so should have taken the legitimate L. Unless Rhodes had the best score of the three? I trust there was a logical reason for the call. I think the old fed head in me is just curious, where some others might not think about it, lol. I should probably not think about it, for that matter!
Next segment: Nice, short monologue. Looks like Josh Anderson is using the L to build his character - that’s nice to see. It’s actually made me feel excited for the next card to see who he’s got (watch, now I’ve said this, it’ll be Hamrick).
Jessica Jones Vs Kendall James: Ooft, grim outcome, that one. I wasn’t expecting to see a stoppage through injury, so another cool surprise. I also like how this fight went shorter than the others, which I’m guessing is in direct correlation to RPs put forth for the fight? If so, the injury stoppage is a clever way to end a fight prematurely. Well done to KJ!
Next segment: Okay, so this is my first dealing with Gavin Grimes. At the top of the show, Taryn name drops him and the crowd go nuts, right? Chanting his name? Having just watched his segment, I - as a viewer - hope Eliza kicks the shit out of him (and I suspect that might be what happens now because this segment has been set up for a poetic comeuppance). He’s so cocky. It’s very much like “Hi, I’m Gavin Grimes, I love me - who do you love?” I’m not sure why fans would cheer that? This isn’t a dig at the handler or anything, by the way! I’m just encountering the character for the first time and my instinct is to boo the ever-loving fuck out of him. If that’s the goal? Great work.
Next segment: Maddie Wilson again, this time with RC Tucker. I liked this. I’m new to PRIDE and (ashamedly) haven’t had the chance to sit down and fully read Re:Awakening, so all these characters are ones I’m only seeing for the first time. This segment did a great job of laying the land for me. I know there’s conflict now. Tucker’s put forth an interesting theory that his team will work better, and now I want to see it. Excellent stuff.
Next segment: Wow… Lol. I have no idea what I just watched. Eliza Valentine came off as unstable, unhinged and absolutely fucking crazy. Interrupted by Grimes, crowd go nuts. I just don’t get it. Maybe it’s a nostalgia thing? Maybe it’s a one time only thing that’s getting the pop? Fair play. I do wanna see this match though, admittedly.
Grimes Vs Valentine: This match was one of my favourites so far, just given the fact that I love me some hardcore action. Loved the commentary team questioning why fire extinguishers are effective, and it being answered by the actual use of it around them. Clever. Again, don’t understand why Valentine was booed when she won. I’d have been in that crowd applauding. I can imagine Grimes’ handler fucking hating me now, haha. It’s nothing personal. I’m just watching it from a viewer’s eye for the first time. It’s lost on me. I’m sure he’s amazing.
Next segment: Ah, sweet! Chelsea Quik is medically cleared to wrestle. This means nothing to me because I’m totally new to this. Imagine someone turning on TNA Impact for the first time and just watching as a newcomer. That’s my reality right now. I look forward to seeing her though, because Coby’s commentary during her fights and storylines ought to be interesting.
Aalto Vs Duke: Safe to say this is the match we’ve been waiting for. Aalto has been billed as the biggest signing to this iteration of PRIDE and the two really did their best to sell the match. It definitely didn’t disappoint. I wasn’t sure which way it was going to go, but nobody could deny either of them a victory. Nice touch at the end with the handshake, arm-raise and crowd applause. Sometimes it was hard to follow, but only because the match kept switching tenses (from past to present). That scrambles my brain, as a reader. I had to read it twice to visualise the match.
Next segment: Abby Watkins getting her airtime for the first time tonight, that’s good. I was worried we might not see her. This is my introduction to DeMarcus Gresham. Lol. He’s quite something. Why is he talking like that? I’m intrigued. I don’t know how to feel about him…. I just know I want to see more. Absolutely hate that purple on black though. My eyes! Please think of my eyes!
Next segment: Jesus fuck! That was shocking. I love a good ‘whodunnit?!’ and that’s looking like what this is. The commentary team seem a little calmer than they probably should, lol. Awesome stuff though.
Next segment: Here comes J-Halc. Loving the cool catch of a tossed microphone. The guy is other side of the pillow cool, ain’t he? Nice looking title belt too! Damn, that’s some announcement for the guys in the main event. Stakes have just been raised. While I’m not shocked or surprised by it, it’s still a cool addition to the show. I didn’t KNOW that was going to happen and didn’t expect it, but now that it’s happened, it makes a lot of sense, basically.
‘Quik’ Impact Table: I like this and I don’t like this. I like it in the sense that it’s a great way to round off the show and just remind people what’s happened and what the implications are/could be. However, I don’t like it in the sense that it’s a place that people can just scroll to and get the instant results, therefore negating the hard work and effort you guys have put into writing the whole show. I’ve read everything though, so I appreciate the round up.
Next segment: Jesus, purple on black! Ban it! Ban it to hell! Julian Savell is new to me, along with everyone else. This was alright, a good heel promo if ever I’ve seen one. The kind where he’s just talking shit without really saying anything. I do like the point he’s making about hurting Tyson Gregory (who was his best friend), and so if he can do that to his best bud, think what he can do to a guy he only likes slightly, in Erron Wilder. I’m more intrigued by the idea of the teams trying to co-exist though, like Tucker and Gresham built.
Main Event: As expected, it was the biggest match in terms of results writing (why wouldn’t it be, it’s the main event!) and I thought it was good. I was pleased with the friction on display throughout and I was pleased with the outcome because RC Tucker came across as the most likeable throughout the show in his segment. I did like the end where all hell starts to break loose, although if I had to be critical, for me it feels like that hype should have been laid on to the two guys going on to compete for the title - not the losers of the match. That’s just me though and overall, it doesn’t detract from the show.
POSITIVES
- Segment lengths were ideal. Short enough that they’re easy to read and digest. Long enough where the character comes across well. Great effort to all who wrote them.
- The matches were well written for the most part. I especially love the unpredictability in some of them; namely the injury stoppage and the botch in the tag team fight. They’re realistic additions that really make the show believable.
- The flow of the show (segment to ringside) was perfect. Not one thing looked out of place and that’s difficult to get right. You guys nailed that.
- Stories were built well. Merrick Henderson Vs Deacon Thomas in a table match next week. The Keep America Safe campaign! Who’s behind that?! Why did they target Eliza? Josh Anderson’s intense monologue about whoever he faces next week. The fallout from the controversial tag team botch. How Jessica Jones is doing following her stoppage. Who the fuck tried to basically kill Anushka Aalto?! The PRIDE title fight! The promise of the TV Title reveal next show! Savell/Gresham beefing. There’s a ton of stuff to carry forward to the next show and that’s ideal.
NEGATIVES
- Sometimes special move names were used but the actual move itself wasn’t described, leaving me lost as to what happened. I like to be able to visualise the fight.
- Some of the show was in past tense, while other parts were written in present tense. I realise it’s easy for that to happen with so many writers contributing, but an easy remedy is to pick a tense and stick to it. We all follow a segment style guide, so tense could be included too.
- That purple colour on black background was horrendous (for me, anyway).
- Erron Wilder feels like he’s meant to be a big deal here, but he wasn’t in a segment. I would have liked to see more from him throughout the show, as I did with his team-mate and opposition.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the show and can’t wait for the next card!
